Itch

Everyone gets mosquitoes bite once in a while, so i presume you know what an itch is. Imagine having it for 10-20 minutes every day in your ear and nose, oh, one would have suicidal thought if one is weak mentally.

The itch come and goes without leaving a note on the time of its return. The anticipation is one thing, the sudden occurrence of it is another thing to deal with. Oh, and it's getting more frequent nowadays. I know it has to do with my nasal congestion and eczema, that's why i didn't seek treatment anymore as they will just give antihistamine and some soothing advice. Like what they did for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd visit. hmmm... I can do that my self, thanks for the helpful words, which unlikely to kill the itch i have.

It is tough to be someone with medical knowledge. You know the treatment of one disease and it's prognosis and you have the opportunity to consult specialist directly about it. Yet, you still have hope that may be, just may be, someone in the outpatient clinic can do wonders and hep you with the problem. hmm.. Too much false hope eh :P

Anyway, I'm trying to clear as much mucus in my nose so it won't be stagnant in there and cause more problem than it suppose to. Well, i will have to tolerate the itch as it is unlikely to disappear even with treatment. Oh, don't advise me on the complementary treatment. Lifestyle changes won't happen in me as who would want to cut out prawn, coffee, spicy food and chocolate from their diet?? I'm a Malaysian and tell me, which dishes has zero spices?!

Recently, I got to know one of my friend is having this, worse than me, which may affect her marriage life. So, I'm counting my blessing and hopefully, God will pity us and reduce our suffering.

Warm

Middle of the night, it's usual time where I tends to recall my childhood memories and become homesick. One of the reason why I don't like being up at night without anything to do.

I remembered, the feeling of being taken cared of by both parents at the same time. That day, i fall sick. Both of them watched me till i fall asleep. I still can retrieve the feeling and the awkwardness of being stared at and trying very hard to pretend sleeping. Hahaa... A moment that I'll treasure.

So many things happened that i remembered. The bad things leave better footprint and I'm trying hard to recall back the good things so I will have a happier childhood memories. Sorry, I'm being emo. hmm... Actually, my life is better than my step-siblings' life. My parents are together, my father come back 2-3days almost every months. Before I know what is 1st and 2nd wife, what's the meaning of step sibling and the psychosocial impact of it, I sometimes complained about my life. Such an ungrateful child eh. :P

I like reading self improvement book to improve my EQ. Those book help me so much. I'm glad i join Red Crescent Society, interaction and activities held greatly influence myself in a positive way. Most of all, thanks to my mom's care and love, she taught me the most. eh, these sound like a speech in prize giving ceremony kan. haha..

Er.. this entry a bit here and there. Not really reflecting the title. Anyway, life is short, i should treasure my family and will try and try to be a better person. Till next time, I'll talk more on my step-family life. :) I love them as much I love my own family.

  

Me on 2nd right

Friends?

How can a person be so mean on others?

There is one person in my class, she is irritating, drama queen and I personally don't like her. But that doesn't mean i can bully her. Almost all girls in my class, hates her, talk at her back and front, tease her boyfriend about having such girlfriend and make fun of the things she written in her blog. If you doesn't like somebody, why can't you just ignore him/her? Why there is the need of making their life miserable? I really don't know why people can't just take care their own stuff. It's not like they themselves are perfect, in fact, they are the same. Mean, unkind soul. God is watching.

Among the girls, one of them used to be the girl's best friend. Now, she still socialize with her i think, as i still see their picture together. But, she is a girl without root. Easily shifted to places as the environment change. She join the mocking and teasing, but still act good when there is no one is seeing. Friend aren't suppose to be like that. Pity the girl, being bullied by others and her own ex?-best friend.


And I, doesn't know how to act to stop all these. All I know is I don't have a right to be mean to others, and if i doesn't like someone, will just ignore her and minimize the time spend with her. Why do i need to grow hates and be mean to others??

Sad day

Today, again the sadness almost eat up me and left nothing for myself. Morning started as usual and then, one phone call change it totally. She called me again, with the same crying mode, saying she is blind and sad. She has psychosis you know, but not treated for so long. Until now, i think it's under-treated. Not that we don't want to send her to hospital, but, there is one thing preventing us. I still couldn't bring myself to talk much about it. No one know this thing, only one person, Miss H knows this.

 

1st

First post is always the hardest. But the need to expressed myself is greater than the shyness, laziness and all those negative thoughts that had been preventing me from creating a blog.

I feel alone, with friends besides me, but still, I'm alone. Fighting battles over battles, thinking of a new solution, but still, is not able to implement it and see it done. I'm sad and the thought of giving up is there. I'm trying to stay strong, for my dreams, family and most importantly, my values in me don't wanna give up. But I'm tired...